life is like a box of chocolates

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get

I don't know if we have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental —like on a breeze, but I think maybe it's both. - Forest Gump

What I'm doing now was never part of my plan five years ago. I've simply been following paths that appeared gradually, almost by chance, throughout my journey through life. Given my investor-like personality that considers "what's the worst that could happen?" rather than "what good might come from this choice?", I've made decisions by weighing minimal risks in the face of uncertainty and then surrendering myself to that uncertainty, like a dandelion seed carried by the wind. Surprisingly, even the life-changing decision to start a company happened amid such uncertainty.

I had neither a compelling reason to start a business nor a desire for great wealth. If money had been my goal, simply increasing leverage on my existing investment strategies would be enough. I didn't have strong motivations to prove anything to anyone or to compete. I simply enjoyed crafting products with my smart friends I'd met by chance, and found pleasure watching it surprises people.

But as time passed and our small product grew into a revenue-generating one, as the company developed structure, I realized that mere enjoyment wouldn't be enough to sustain this kind of work. I sensed that there would be far more moments requiring patience and self-conviction than good moments, and that the initial element of "fun" wouldn't be sufficient to overcome the challenges of this journey.

To continue this journey i have chosen, I needed to reflect on the fundamental source of my self-conviction that gives me the strength to push forward even in moments of pain and complacency. I believe that fragile individuals often collapse not because of circumstances themselves but because of internal issues in facing those circumstances, so I needed solid philosophical roots to prevent this.

Does strong self-conviction need to have a rational foundation? I don't think so. Aren't those who change the world often called "crazy" or "irrational"? Once I accepted that my self-conviction could be based on irrationality, the path to my conclusion became clearer. The irrationality supporting my self-conviction stems from faith in God, who will guide me in the best possible way through uncertain situations, and from the reverence and diligence with which I approach this. I found comfort in Joseph's example.

Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and unjustly imprisoned, experiencing absurdities beyond his control. Yet his strong self-conviction came from his faith in God who guided him, and the reverence and diligence that stemmed from it. He eventually became prime minister, though he hadn't originally dreamed of or strongly believed in that outcome. It wasn't Joseph's dream but God's dream for Joseph. His endurance of absurdity through strong faith, reverence, and diligence exemplifies the "power to take one more step forward" that I must maintain.

In the movie "Forrest Gump," there's the following line: "I don't know if we have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental —like on a breeze, but I think maybe it's both." We sometimes seem guided by strong destiny, yet at other times we may just be drifting amid coincidences. I can define the world I want to change and let myself be pulled along, but will continuously adjusting my trajectory as I observe the changing world and my own evolving self. Only the power to believe strongly and persist matters. Though the source of this sustainability varies from person to person, I've found mine in faith and the diligence that stems from it.

life is like a box of chocolates, and i'll never know what i'm gonna get. but that doesn't matter to me. i'd rather enjoy while keep sustaining my diligence based on my faith-driven self conviction.